Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
