So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
