True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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