He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
