Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
