What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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