Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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