whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I need to stop coming to work sober
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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