yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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