Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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