i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
