Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
