He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
