so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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