I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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