he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
