She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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