totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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