I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
