1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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