i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
