$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
