So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
