I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Those nachos came to me in a dream
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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