Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
