Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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