Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
