i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I wear drunk well.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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