i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
try to milk me bitch
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