is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
