i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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