What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You ate ashes out of my bong
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
