we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
