He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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