I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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