Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
