I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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