I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
