Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
