My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
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