if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
