we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
