I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
