Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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