If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just found puke in my bra..
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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