He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
