Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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