you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
