she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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