im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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